


Congratulations

by JerseyGirl



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Declarations Of Love, Emotional, Emotionally Repressed, Epiphany, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage, POV Steve McGarrett, Realization, Requited Love, Sad, Storms, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-25
Updated: 2012-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 17:23:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/468802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JerseyGirl/pseuds/JerseyGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve realizes something too late to do anything about it.</p><p>Updated with Chapter Two...or IS it too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> Title of the story is from the song of the same name by Blue October. See end notes for specifically inspiring lyrics. I intended this to be a one-shot, but the partners and the readers wouldn't let me get away with that. *grin*

The sweet scent of the soft-petaled flower in his hand couldn't lift his mouth into a smile. The lulling backdrop of gentle waves lapping at the sand of his beach couldn't soothe his aching heart. The low, gray clouds rolling in from the east mirrored the mood pervading his land, his home, his mind.

He swallowed. The flower, bright pink and white-striped, fell between his fingers to the sand between his bare feet. He looked down at it. Heard thunder roll in the distance. Looked back up at the water, a nearly-flat blue-gray as the storm rolled in, stretching to the horizon. Not a boat or a fin, not a swimmer or the spout of a breathing whale. Lifeless. Endless. Exactly how he felt.

He thought back to the joking, the laughter, the merriment of yesterday as he, Chin, Kamekona and Danny had stood in the same room at the same tuxedo store, all trying on their fitted tuxes for the wedding that was taking place this Saturday on the beach, as Chin's had. Talk of the Jersey Slip, Danny's face reddening when Steve mentioned him handcuffing himself to Lori.

Chin's bright, happy eyes, no longer going to be the only married man on the Five-0 team. Kono's ribbing and ooh's and aah's because she'd seen the bride's dress and it was perfect, beautiful, gorgeous, according to her. Steve's simple enjoyment of Danny's sparkling blue eyes, the crinkles at the corners of them because he hadn't been able to stop smiling, the teeth always showing through his perma-grin.

Danny was _happy_.

Danny was getting _married_.

The bachelor party, being thrown by Steve, of course, was tomorrow night. Guys' night out, one last hurrah before the big day.

Kono was throwing a bridal shower for Dr. Asano tomorrow at eleven in the morning. Grace was attending, was all Steve knew about it.

Danny was happy. That was all that mattered. All Steve wanted. He hadn't lied when he'd said that while on the run from authorities. It'd been truth.

He swallowed, felt a lump growing in his throat. Felt the world around him shatter, heard it tinkling like glass as it fell from the perfect but oh-so-fragile bubble he'd created when he'd pulled Daniel Williams and Chin Ho Kelly and Kono Kalakaua into it. Tried so hard to preserve it. But things moved on. Life kept rolling along. _People_ moved on.

They were _ohana_. They would always be _ohana_.

But now Chin had Malia, a world of his own to go back to at the end of the day. And Kono didn't want to hang out with her boss, for God's sake, she wanted to catch waves with her friends, hang out with her family, date all the men who felt so privileged to be chosen for even a single outing by a woman as beautiful as she.

And while Danny had always had Grace, it had grown into a little world that Danny let Steve into there for a couple of years. Where so often it was Grace and Danny and _Steve_ , whenever Danny had her, because Steve had a private beach, and Steve knew all the fun places on the islands for kids, and Steve always welcomed his partner and his adopted niece with wide-open arms.

Only Steve did that because of the one thing he hadn't realized until he'd seen Danny standing there yesterday in his tuxedo – bow tie, cummerbund and all. He hadn't understood before what it was that made him want to keep Danny in his world, and when the light bulb had gone off standing there with the other groomsmen and the groom himself, it had caused his world to shift, tilt, completely stop and then start spinning the other direction.

Chin had stared at him quietly for a few seconds, but said nothing. Kamekona hadn't seemed to notice. Danny had been too busy preening in the full-length mirror, and then had turned and started ribbing Steve for not having his jacket on yet because Danny wanted to see them all, dammit, in all their glory, so he'd know they all would look perfect.

And Chin had continued to give him looks.

And Steve had plastered on a smile, had put aside the epiphany, had felt like the stupidest, most idiotic ridiculous man on the planet for not having realized sooner. For not having seen it. For not having recognized the pull toward Danny for what it truly was.

Steve wasn't gay.

He wasn't even bi.

He'd been heterosexual his entire life, and maybe that's why it had never occurred to him that this friendship with Danny was more. Could _be_ more.

Of course, Danny wasn't gay either.

Nor, as far as Steve knew, was he bi.

Danny had been heterosexual his whole life, from what Steve knew of it, so there you had it, plain and simple.

Two heterosexual men.

One of them getting married.

"It won't change anything, Steve, I'll still provide you with multiple rants on an hourly basis, babe."

Those had been Danny's words, but Steve knew Danny was wrong.

Things would change, of course they would. Danny had someone to go home to now. He didn't have a lonely, empty apartment. His life wasn't only filled when he was working or had Grace. Now he had a new life he was embarking on, as a new husband to a wonderful, beautiful, perfect woman in Gabrielle Asano. Hell, they'd probably have at least one child, if not more, as much as Danny loved kids, loved being a father.

And Danny would slide further and further from Steve's side, happy to be there during cases, but mind always on what waited for him in the nights, in bed, with his new family. There was proof that things would change, proof from Chin. He rarely hung out with Danny and Steve anymore, and even Danny had already cut down the amount of nights he spent hanging with Steve in back of the house, or out at a bar throwing back a few and shooting the shit after a rough day.

Now he went to Gabby. Gabby's arms. Gabby's lips. Gabby's bed.

Steve could hardly envision himself holding Danny for longer than a two-second back-slapping hug, and yet now as the sun behind the clouds began to set, he wondered what it would have felt like to try it, even once.

He could hardly envision his lips touching Danny's for any reason other than CPR, and yet now, seated in the white wooden beach chair with the other one painfully empty beside him, he wondered what it would be like to take Danny's face in his hands, caress his cheeks with his thumbs, and touch lips to lips, even for the briefest moment.

He could hardly envision pulling Danny's clothing deliberately away: unbuttoning his dress shirt, undoing his pants. Sliding his shirt from his arms, hearing it fall to the floor with a whisper. Shoving his pants down his thighs, grabbing the waistband of his boxer briefs and tugging them down and away, Danny lifting one foot and then the other.

He could hardly imagine seeing Danny's erect cock up close and personal, nor even taking it into his mouth. Touching Danny's bare skin, fingertips grazing the ample hair covering much of Danny's body. Fingers carding through Danny's perfectly-coiffed hair, mussing it, feeling it silky soft.

Falling into Steve's bed.

Face-to-face.

Chest-to-chest.

Cock-to-cock.

He couldn't fathom it, couldn't see it happening…and yet, could. In vivid Technicolor, there it was before him like a movie that had never been made, a possible future path that would never be taken. It fascinated him, terrified him, embarrassed him. His cock grew hard at the thought of cupping Danny's ass in both his hands. It twitched when the movie in his mind showed him stroking across Danny's tight hole, and his mind's ear supplied Danny moaning in pleasure at the touch.

Steve sucked in a deep, shuddering breath, leaned back in the chair and rested his head on the hard back of it. He watched the storm front roll across the sky, where stars were barely twinkling in the twilight before being erased altogether by deeply threatening clouds.

When the first flash of lightning came from over the water, he didn't even flinch. His eyes were wide open, just staring at nothing in the sky as the full force of what was about to happen hit him like a freight train. Thunder boomed in his ears, but he was frozen in place even as the first raindrops fell from the sky, some splashing into his still-open eyes.

The elation of realizing he was in love.

The confusion of it being with his partner. His partner who was a man.

The heartbreak of knowing he'd lost the object of his affection before he'd even understood that's who Danny was to him.

The despair of knowing that he would never find out whether he could make love to Danny the way he'd made love to women throughout his life.

The loneliness he knew the next many years would bring, watching Danny move on with his life and his new family, while Steve stayed stuck in one place, as though mired in the thickest mud, rooted to this one moment in time where he knew, finally _knew_ , what love was…and could do nothing about it.

It burned.

It seared.

It stabbed.

It fucking _hurt_.

Soon rain wasn't the only liquid running down Steve's face. He gasped out a sob, doubling forward fast as though he'd been sucker punched in the gut and shot through the heart all at the same time.

He loved Danny.

He loved _Danny_.

He _loved_ Danny.

And he'd never know what might have been if he'd realized it sooner.

Out on the beach, alone, in the rain, with thunder cracking and lightning piercing the sky in jagged bolts, Steve's pain roared out of him in a heart-wrenching, mournful cry, and then he was silent.

The tears fell even as _he_ fell to his knees in the sand. Bent forward. Hands digging into its wet warmth. Sobs wracking his body, silent open-mouthed screams as more than just this…but _everything_ that had ever hurt him in his life from childhood through to present day was pulled from the very depths of his being. As though internalizing true, pure love had broken the carefully constructed brick and concrete and steel dam he'd built and built and built. As though Danny had become the tidal wave of water…the only thing…that could break through it all.

Down from the heavens poured the rain.

Out of Steve's body, poured emotion.

Until at last, spent and unable to move, he simply fell to the sand, body drenched and painful hiccups spasming his chest and throat.

He laid there, closed his eyes, and breathed, not sure what had just happened, but knowing it had changed him forever.


	2. The Declarations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who've left kudos and comments. I hope this makes all of you feel better about the situation! (It sure made ME feel better...)

Hours. It's been hours that he's been lying there like a dead fish on the sand. The storm ceased some time ago, he has no concept of how long it's been. He only knows he's feeling the grit of wet sand against his body, the uncomfortable plastering of his shorts and tee shirt to his skin and is thirsty as hell.

Steve pushes himself up to his knees, takes a moment to assess his surroundings. It's still night. The sky is clear, stars and the moon shining down from an inky black sky. There aren't any lights nearby unless you count the faint glow of the street lamp out at the end of his driveway on the street. There's no breeze. There's no sound; even the ocean is silent.

He sighs and comes to his feet, trying in vain to rid himself of the errant sand where it's stuck in both the hair on his head and on his legs and arms. Up to the lanai, open the door, step inside and strip. Naked now, and feeling more than just a little disgusting and a whole lot empty inside, he picks up the soaked tee shirt, shorts and underwear and heads for his laundry room.

He's just gotten the three items dumped into the washer and is getting ready to put some soap in when he hears the front door open with its usual creak. Frowning, every muscle tensing, every nerve on edge, he steals to the door of the laundry room, slips silently across the kitchen and stops in the entryway to the living room.

When he sees who it is that's closing and locking the door behind him, all the tension drains out of him. At least this time it's not armed thieves or someone hell-bent on murdering him or…no. No, this is worse. This is _much_ worse.

Because it's Danny.

Danny, the man who Steve just spent hours lying on the beach having an epiphany about.

Shit.

All his muscles go tense again. And he completely forgets that he's—

"Oh, man, warn a guy, would ya?"

Steve blinks. Danny's staring at him.

_Staring_.

Steve looks down at himself.

Oh. Right. He's naked. As a jaybird. As the day he was born.

Well, if you don't count millions of sand crystals stuck in uncomfortable places, that is.

"Sorry, I just…" Steve's voice trails off as his hand flaps useless in the air, in the vague direction of the kitchen. "What, uh…what're you doing here at…what time is it?"

Danny's giving him an odd look, like not only has he found his partner buck naked and that's thrown him a bit, but even moreso the fact that Steve has no idea of the time. "It's just after one in the morning," Danny replies. "At least, when I got out of the car, it was."

"Ah," Steve nods, and keeps standing there. His hand moves to the back of his neck. He rubs it, can't look Danny in the eye even as the man crosses the living room slowly.

Of course, Danny notices.

"So," Danny says. "Is there any special reason you're wandering around your house naked at one in the morning looking like the tide just washed you in? Were you swimming? In the _dark_?"

"No, I was just…outside. Got caught in the storm."

Danny blinks. "The storm that ended two hours ago?"

"Ah…yeah."

Narrowing his eyes, Danny steps closer. "It's not that I don't appreciate the view, partner, but…really?" he says, voice low, hands gesturing to Steve's nakedness.

"You barged into my house, Danny, I can't help how you found me." No, Steve's not pissed, but he's letting his voice get a pissy edge because he can't right now…he…he can't, Danny's standing so close and he…his eyes, looking right up at him, and in the light of the moon that streams into the house's windows they're almost glowing, those blue and orange irises, and Steve's caught…stuck…stuck looking, staring, he…oh, God…

"Hey," Danny says softly, then swallows hard as his eyes rake down over Steve's chest, further, looking all the way down the line of his body to his toes. Slowly his gaze moves up…up…up…and catches Steve's again.

Steve thinks all the air's been sucked out of the room. He's pretty sure of it because he can't breathe.

"I couldn't sleep," Danny says. He looks away, turns to the right, perpendicular now to Steve. He runs a hand through hair that looks much fluffier and less 'done' than usual. "I think I'm…" His voice trails off.

"Danny?"

Steve wants to touch. Wants to _touch hold kiss love feel hug stroke pet_ oh _God_ how he wants.

Loves.

Loves Danny.

"Danny?"

Steve's starting to feel itchy all over, and he doesn't think it's because of the sand. When Danny's voice comes, it's a quiet whisper and Danny…his face, he looks… _mortified_. "I think I'm making a huge mistake."

Steve doesn't move a muscle. An eyelash. Not a single hair. He doesn't even blink. His mind is racing, racing, trying to figure out what Danny could mean, yes, of course, probably marrying Gabby but why, _why_ , it's just…it's only a few days away, the bridal shower and bachelor party are _tomorrow_ , is he—?

Danny's face turns, looks up at Steve's. He's expecting words. Expecting _something_. Anything. _Any_ thing.

"Don't you love her?" is all Steve can manage to squeak out of his throat.

And Danny's face goes sad, eyes changing to match it as they hold Steve's. As his mouth opens but no sound emerges.

"Cold feet?" Steve asks next because he doesn't know what to do with that look, that face, with Danny standing there right in front of him, less than a foot of space separating them. Everything inside his body reaches out toward Danny, crying like he was doing on the beach earlier, wanting, _wanting_ , "Dammit!" he spits, whirls, heads back into the kitchen but then stops in the middle of the room not far from the table, feeling himself about to hyperventilate and he doubles over and Christ, it means his bare ass is sticking right out there in the air if Danny follows him in, but what if Danny _doesn't_ follow him in, what if he leaves, what—?

The front door shuts.

No.

"No!" Steve cries. He turns and sprints through the house. He hears the Camaro's engine rumble to life even as he throws the front door open so hard it bangs against the wall. He steps outside as the car's headlights come on. Runs to the driver's side door, bangs on the window.

The window slowly rolls down. "Are you out in your driveway _naked_?" Danny asks incredulously, like that's the only damn thing that matters here.

"Get out of the car, Danny," Steve says because now he doesn't care anymore about the wedding, isn't even thinking about tuxedos or parties or Gabby or anything but the fact that Danny's here, Danny thinks he's making a mistake, Danny wouldn't tell him _why_ he thought that.

Maybe Steve _knows_ why.

Maybe.

If he doesn't try, he'll never know. He almost didn't know. Almost didn't have a clue. Almost didn't have a chance, even if it _is_ a snowball's chance in Hell.

"I shouldn't—"

"The _hell_ you shouldn't!" Steve bellows and doesn't give a rat's ass if his neighbors heard it, if it woke the dog two houses down, doesn't give a flying _fuck_ if anyone pulls into his driveway and sees him, Task Force Leader and Navy Lieutenant Commander Steven J. McGarrett in his altogether standing there yanking the door of the Camaro open and manhandling his partner out of the driver's seat with the car left running and headlights left on.

Danny sort of meeps and then sort of squeaks and his hands are on Steve's pecs like lightning to steady himself and Steve's fingers are fisting the fabric of Danny's stupid long-sleeved button-down shirt right where the sleeves are rolled up to just above his elbows and he's got maybe two seconds of Danny starting wide-eyed at him before he brings one hand up behind Danny's head and smashes their lips together.

It wasn't the shy, quiet romantic gesture Steve's brain had imagined in his angst-fest out on the beach.

But it's the best motherfucking sensation he's ever felt in his entire _life_.

And Danny's high-pitched whine and then low-pitched moan as he opens his mouth and lets Steve in, makes Steve think Danny's on-board with that assessment.

Danny's hands slide over Steve's collarbone, up to the back of his neck, one hand slightly higher feeling his hair, the other holding Steve in place just as much as Steve's holding _Danny_ in place and it's fireworks and it's marching bands and it's explosions and it's electrifying and Steve thinks his knees might not hold him up and he can hear the Camaro's engine slice through the moment and wants Danny, wants him more, still, yet, _loves_ he's got him in his arms, tongues tasting, dueling, mapping, lips crushing so hard it hurts and Danny whimpers and Steve pulls away.

Eyes meet eyes.

Danny takes in a shuddering breath, seems like he might lose his ability to stand, too, the way he trembles under Steve's touch.

"Gabby…" Danny breathes, voice full of regret, fright. "I don't…I don't know what to do."

"Call it off." Sure of himself now, knowing Danny wants this, wants _him_. "I _love_ you, Danny. I didn't realize it until yesterday, I didn't—I love you. I can't…you can't marry her. Please don't marry her."

There.

All said.

Out in the open.

Danny's eyes fill with tears. "Yesterday?"

Steve nods, thumb coming up to swipe at the lone tear that escapes Danny's left eye. "When you had your tux on."

Steve's shaking. Danny's shaking. They're shaking together.

Together.

They can be _together_.

Danny wants this. Steve, God knows he does, with everything that's in him.

"Me, too," is what Danny whispers and Steve realizes he isn't the only one who had an epiphany and shit, they're so stupid, the two of them, so goddamn _stupid_ , Danny almost made this huge mistake and how, _why_ did it take them so long to figure this thing _out_? "I love you, too, Steve, I…" Tears flow from Danny's eyes, yet he's smiling through them. "Jesus Christ, I love you."

Steve pulls him close, holds Danny tightly to his body, revels in the heat Danny throws off, he's always so hot, always burns so bright, like maybe that hair of his is on fire from the Sun itself and he knows it sounds corny even in his own head but doesn't care because right now it's fairy tales and rainbows and unicorns and all the pretty glitter things that Gracie loves and Steve wouldn't be surprised if fucking angels started singing and strumming harps in the air around them right now because he's _soaring_ , he's flying, he's holding the love of his life who loves him _back_.

"I should go talk to her," Danny says quietly, pulls away enough that he can look up at Steve. "I can't stay here, with you, until I talk to her. And then…all the details, I…Grace, what am I gonna…?"

"We'll tell Grace," Steve says, hand coming under Danny's chin, holding it, stroking his jaw with his thumb. "We'll tell everyone we need to tell, but…are you sure, Danny? Are you sure you don't want to marry her? No regrets if you call it off for me?"

"For _us_ ," Danny corrects, some of his old sarccy sound creeping back in. "For _us_ , Steve. I don't know how to do this with you, with a guy, but…I realized looking at you yesterday, knowing what was about to happen, that I can't…"

Danny looks like he's run out of words. Seems to completely lose his ability to say anything more.

And he doesn't have to, because Steve _knows_.

So Steve nods, backs away. Gestures toward the Camaro. "Go. I'll be right here."

Danny takes a deep breath, pulls away, nods, sinks into the driver's seat. Watches Steve as he leans down, leans in, leans close. Closes his eyes when Steve brushes his lips across his.

"I'll be back," Danny tells him. Steve nods, backs away, shuts the door once Danny's pulled his legs in.

"We're crazy," Danny observes as he puts the car in reverse.

"Yeah," Steve says, smiles, backs up a couple steps.

Danny matches the smile, and then as though he's made the final decision, turns and looks behind him to back out of the driveway.

Steve stays in place until the Camaro's well out of sight.

He's going to go get the washer started, so his nasty sandy wet clothes won't be ruined.

Then he's going to take a shower.

Then he's going to sit on the couch and wait for Danny to return.

There are going to be consequences. To Gabby. To Grace. To Five-0.

But the consequences if this _hadn't_ happened, if they _hadn't_ realized this before a marriage, would've been much _much_ worse.

They'll deal with the fallout. With peoples' reactions. With the hurt feelings and the guilt. They'll deal with it _together_. Just like they've always done _everything_ together from the moment they met.

"He loves me," Steve whispers as he heads back toward the front door. He stops. Looks up at the sky. Sees a shooting star, the first one he's seen in years, streak across the sky, and smiles. "Thank you," he says to Whoever might be listening out there. "Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> Here are the specific lyrics from Blue October’s song “Congratulations” that inspired this fic:
> 
>  
> 
> _Is that seat taken?  
>  Congratulations  
> Would you like to take a walk with me?_
> 
>  
> 
> _My mind it kind of goes fast  
>  I'll try to slow it down for you  
> I think I'd love to take a drive  
> I want to give you something  
> I've been wanting to give to you for years  
> My heart _
> 
>  
> 
> _My heart, my pain won't cover up  
>  You left me…  
> My heart can't take this cover up  
> You left me…_
> 
>  
> 
> _I came to see the light in my best friend  
>  You seemed as happy as you'd ever been  
> My chance of being open was broken  
> And now you're Mrs. Him. _
> 
>  
> 
> _My words they don't come out right  
>  But I'll try to say I'm happy for you  
> I think I'm going to take that drive  
> I want to give you something  
> I've wanted to give to you for years  
> My heart_


End file.
